A few days ago, I was going through my storage chest, trying to get together any supplies from last semester that could be salvaged and used again this upcoming semester, and I found a letter. A letter I wrote to my self, almost exactly 365 days ago. It was incredibly unassuming…scrawled on a simple piece of notebook paper, folded in on itself, bearing the date, which read January 1st 2015.
At first I thought nothing of it and shuffled past it and continued my search for whatever the hell it was I was initially looking for. But after an hour of endless searching, I came back around to unfolding it.
“The first day of the New Year is almost over.
I’ve spent the bulk of my few hours awake today contemplating the resolutions I want to make this year. And I think I’ve come up with a few things I’m going to try and accomplish this year. So here we go…
You can’t live your life on guard all the time. It’s ok to let people in, to be vulnerable and close. Take a chance on people. Living life afraid of being rejected or hurt doesn’t do anything but build walls and makes you feel isolated from people who could help you.
Try. And I mean a full try, always, always, always do your absolute best. I know that it is easy to skate by doing the bear minimum and still do well, but you know and I know that you are capable of such extraordinary things if you focus and give it your all. Life gets crazy, just remember to keep your eye on the prize.
And last, but considerably most important, be kind to yourself. Don’t harp on your imperfections and give in to the insecurities that make you doubt your strengths and question your worth. Embrace yourself. Give yourself the same patience and grace and love and attention that you give others. Don’t elevate others to the detriment of yourself. You are a kind, loyal, intelligent girl worthy of as much love and acceptance as anyone else. Never forget that or let anyone tell you different.
Good luck Queen,
Give em’ hell,
When I finished the letter, I was taken aback by how sweet it was. Last year me was so optimistic and positive, preaching self love before what would be the most emotionally demanding year of my entire life thus far. Although I don’t think I quite lived up to all that I planned for myself last year, I learned so much about me and truly started to accept that in the same ways that I can love others and forgive others of their flaws and shortcomings, I deserve that same consideration as well.